Barbara has a PhD in some sort of applied mathematics that only she, NASA, and God fully understand. She truly is a genius. What I love about her is even though her intellect operates at a level most of us will never achieve, she’s one of the most down-to-earth people I have ever met.
She sent me the following accounts of people who are not on the PhD end of the spectrum. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.
You can’t make this stuff up!
ONE:
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.
‘You don’t?’ I replied.
‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.
‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’
‘That’s right.’
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true…)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn’t have any, only Splenda and sugar.)
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’
I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’
She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
(But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’
(Keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘Do you need some help?’ I asked. She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’
‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’
Dispatcher: ‘Rush him into emergency right away’
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re Stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too.
Don’t laugh….it is all true…
One of the most precious commodities of life is wisdom. I say this as someone that doesn’t have much of it, but I do know where to go to get it.
Scripture says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5)
If you need wisdom, just ask. God will guide your life if you let him. That’s the wisest decision you will ever make.
Prayer: Dear Gracious Heavenly God, as I start a new day, please give me wisdom to make right decisions. I pray my choices bring you joy. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
Truly wise people know they don’t know everything. They depend on God. Become one of them.
I pray your day is filled with joy and laughter.
Tom Robbins
Daily Devotionals by Dr. Tom Robbins 