Yesterday, the news described something I had never heard before. It was reported that a teacher from Louisiana had run out of her favorite hairspray, so she sprayed her hairdo with Gorilla Glue Spray. And while the warning label clearly stated the glue was not to be used on skin, clothing, or eyes, the manufacturer didn’t specifically warn against this industrial strength spray adhesive being used as a substitute for hair spray.
Needless to say, she has now had the exact same hairstyle for about a month. She’s currently exploring her legal options.
Really? Has humanity sunk so far that now we need labels warning us not to lick light sockets, stick our hands down garbage disposals, or stand on a railroad track to get the best view of the train?
The teacher’s Gorilla Glue predicament got me thinking. Should there be a warning label for everything?
Here’s a few examples of real warning labels that shouldn’t have to exist:
- Danger: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.
- Caution: Don’t eat gum from the URINAL.
- Warning: No swimming if you can’t swim.
- Caution – Hot: Avoid pouring on crotch area.
- You may be at risk for throat cancer if you: Have a throat or mouth.
- Caution: THIS ACTIVITY INVOLVES USING A HOT IRON. DO NOT IRON WHILE WEARING SHIRT.
- Do not breathe under the water.
- DYING RIGHT HERE IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
And the warning label that bothered me the most:
- WARNING: ARTICLES OF VALUE SHOULD NOT BE LEFT ON SEATS WHILST RECEIVING HOLY COMMUNION
There are times when I just want to shake my head in disbelief. What’s wrong with all these people?
But then, I have to imagine, there are many times when God shakes his head in disbelief as he watches me make the most bonehead decisions. And while I may have never put Gorilla Glue in my hair, eaten gum out of urinal, or died in the wrong place, I have to admit I have made some decisions that were real doozies. Luckily, God and I are the only two who know. I’m just going to keep it that way.
So, before you start making fun of other people’s idiotic choices, just remember, you’ve made some too. That’s because you are human. That’s what humans do.
In this crazy world of ours, how do we limit the opportunity for limitless bad decisions? We listen to the wisest of all people. This is what he said: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understand. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Focus on what matters and use common sense. That’s a good recipe for a happy life.
Prayer: Dear Gracious Heavenly God, please save me from myself. Grant me wisdom, knowledge, and grace. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
Today, we are going to focus on Gorilla Glue Woman and not talk about a little boy who shot a water main with a BB gun. That’s because I feel much better about looking at other people’s foolishness instead of my own.
But, when it’s all said and done, I am probably just as foolish as Gorilla Glue Woman. It’s just that my idiocy is different. God love us both anyways. Thank God!
Also, just for the record, if you have to be told not to eat the gum in the urinal, you are already a lost cause.
I pray your day is filled with joy and laughter.
Tom Robbins
Daily Devotionals by Dr. Tom Robbins 