I hate texting. God hates texting. I cannot find one positive affirmation of texting in the Bible. Having said that, in the time of COVID, texting has actually become a tool for pastoral care.
As painful as this is to share, I want you to see how your three pastors used texting in a very effective way to help a couple in the midst of a terrible crisis.
Yesterday morning, in a fit of desperation, Chris texted all three pastors. This is what he said: “Emily has stated she prefers normal cut bacon over thick cut bacon. This is actually biblically divorceable, isn’t it? Maybe y’all should lay hands on her with some oil.”
Pastor Kit’s pastoral guidance was: “No sir, it is time for an exorcism.”
Pastor Brian’s wise counsel was: “She needs to know she is wrong.”
Me, being the old, seasoned pastor said: “I’m sorry. I love Emily but I think your marriage should end. There are some things a man cannot tolerate.”
Having received well thought-out guidance from trained professionals, Chris texted: “It’s beyond counseling, I think.”
Pastor Brian, sensing that we had made a breakthrough, wrote: “First, it’s no thick bacon, and then she will try to serve you turkey bacon. Need an intervention yesterday.”
Chris, seeing where his life was headed wrote: “Turkey bacon?! No!!!!”
Pastor Kit, realizing he needed to reinforce Pastor Brian’s wise words, said: “So, sitting in a counseling office waiting room and, no joke, the song playing is “What kind of fool am I?” by Sammy Davis Jr.”
Chris, now relieved that he was overacting to his wife’s transgression, wrote: “This is hilarious.”
Pastor Kit, who was confident we had put Chris on the right path, wrote: “I guess it’s to promote repeat business.”
As always, knowing it is important to sum up and reinforce the progress of a counseling session, I said: “I think even though you have been betrayed, you need to err on the side of grace. At least, until I get to baptize your baby, then all bets are off.”
So if you ever wondered if your pastors are here to help, know we are. We will always speak hard truths with love and grace.
This is what Paul meant by saying, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)
Prayer: “Dear Gracious Heavenly God, help me to bring joy where there is sorrow, hope where there is despair, and love where there is hate. Use me for your purpose. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
Use your words (or texts) for a holy purpose. It may make all the difference to someone who needs hope in the midst of these hard times.
Also, just for the record, even though Emily has a very skewed view of bacon, I think she and Chris will be able to work through it. Let’s hope, anyway.
I pray your day is filled with joy and laughter.
Tom Robbins